Welcome to Our Blog

Thanks for visiting our blog, where we documented the run up to our gay wedding on August 17th 2012.

If you’d like to read from the beginning, the first posts start here.


Chewing through the kms

The crossing from the north to south islands was stunning…


Like proper life-affirming slightly-teary stunning.

So far our visit to the South Island has been mainly spent in the van as we burn through the huge distances here. I don’t know why, but I always thought NZ was about the size of the UK, but as it turns out it is actually pretty massive. We allocated 3 days of driving to get down to the south, and even that will be pushing it. Still, the roads are good and the scenery is lovely (all my pics are on the camera, but hopefully Donny will post some).

Today the weather is fairly awful so we are just zooming down the west coast, and will soon be in the Southern Alps. Exciting!


North Island Larks

Hi all. Currently on the inter-island ferry heading from the North to the South Island.

We’ve had two nights in the campervan now and so far so good. We’ve figured out how to refill the water and empty the chemical loo. But more importantly we’ve managed to cook a few decent meals


We’ve christened the van Aphasia (for no better reason that its a good comedy drag name) but haven’t got any photos of it to show you, or indeed any photos of our North Island sight-seeing on the phone, but here’s a shot of our view we woke up to on the first morning.


So our time on the North Island time was spent wandering through forests of tree ferns and poking around geothermal impressiveness. Now we are off to mountains, Middle Earth landscapes and a huge amount of driving to get down to the southern end of the South Island in time for a cruise on Doubtful Sound on Monday.


14 Hours in Singapore

After a pleasant (if somewhat bumpy) flight from London we arrived in Singapore and met out lovely friend Robbie for chili crabs…


And coconuts at the hawkers market.


That’s all our favourite things from Singapore in one evening! All we needed to do was see some ludicrous buildings and our stopover would be complete.

Up at 6 tomorrow for the next flight to Auckland. Ugh.


We’re off on Honeymoon!

Rather excitingly, Donny and I are currently at Heathrow waiting for a flight to Singapore, and after 14 hours hanging out there we will head off for another really long flight to our final destination – New Zealand!

It’s such a long way, and such a long flight, but we are so looking forward to a couple of weeks of pootling around New Zealand in a campervan, doing a few hikes, seeing some serious nature and generally getting away from it all – about as far away from it all as it is possible to get!

The plan is to update the blog with a few photos and stories when we get a moment and a wifi signal. Here’s our first photo of us looking fresh faced and optimistic before a 13 hour flight… (ugh)


The Big Day Itself

Our Wedding Vows

As requested by my Dad during his speech, here are our wedding vows. On the big day itself, I went first:

Since I met you, I have climbed high mountains, clambered through narrow gorges and canoed into hidden lagoons. Your sense of adventure is an inspiration, and has given me the courage to try new experiences and embrace the unfamiliar.

Since I met you, I have quit my job, moved cities, set up my own business and produced my first play. I’ve achieved more in the last four years than the rest of my life put together – and that is thanks to your encouragement, and confidence in me.

Since I met you, I have been happier and more at peace than ever before in my life. Your love has given me the strength I needed to face up to difficult things from my past and present, and to know what feels like to look forward to my future.

You are the best person I have ever met, and you have asked me to marry you.

I love you because you always encourage me to be the best person that I can be, because you see potential in me that I all too often don’t recognise in myself. I promise to you today to live up to that, and to not settle for second best – either in my own life or in our life together.

I love you because you are the hardest working person I know. I admire your drive and your ambition and I see the places your career could go. I promise you today that I will be alongside you in that journey wherever it takes us.

I love you because you have the biggest smile and dirtiest chuckle I have ever encountered. I promise you today that I will never stop making you laugh.

Thank you for asking me to be your husband.

I promise you today that you won’t regret it.

And here are Donny’s


it is a privilege to be getting married to you today.

From the first time I met you, I knew that you were going to be very special in my life.

To quote a card I wrote for you on our first anniversary together:

–“The day I found you in my life, was the last day of my feeling lost.”

And indeed, I was quite lost when we first got to know… each other.

I was still reeling from the end of one great relationship, and was anxious about entering yet another.

But, we started off as friends.

I still remember, when I invited you over to eat leftovers from a Thanksgiving dinner I made.

I didn’t want the evening to end, so I walked in the rain, to the bus stop with you, so that we could spend some more time chatting beneath the umbrella.

And then something happened.

Over time… you became my best friend.

And through the years, not only have you given me your friendship, but you have also given me the inspiration to continue becoming a better person.

And that is why you are not just my best friend…whom I happen to be marrying… but you are also my best man.

With everything you do, you have proven again and again, to be a wonderful partner in every sense of the word. Individually we are just two ordinary people, but together, we become  an extraordinary team.

Together, we have made our house into a home, that is filled every day with laughter, love, warmth, and sincerity.


I love you for the values that we share… and your generous and gentle heart.

I love that you understand me so completely—and have an intuitive understanding of me, even when I sometimes don’t even understand my own words or actions.

I love that you are clever enough to keep up with me, yet smart enough to let me win some arguments.

I promise to continue to surprise you in life, like I surprised you this morning.

You make me laugh and you are my best friend. And I hope to continue to make you laugh as well.

I will also be there to remind you that the journey is often more important than the destination.

And I will be there to refill the water jug when  you forget,  and to close cabinet doors after you.

I will always respect you… your wishes… and your opinions.

And most importantly, I will continue to encourage you to become stronger and more whole, both as an individual and as part of our dynamic duo.

Chris, I love you with all my heart, and I thank you for filling my heart with your love as well.


Suits The Big Day Itself

Our Outfits

Choosing wedding outfits for a gay couple can be a minefield. Do you match? Do you complement? Do you co-ordinate? Should it be a surprise? In the end we decided to go for matching suits, but different ties. The suits we eventually settled on were we grey three-piece numbers from Charles Tyrwhitt.

The ties we chose were both gifts from Donny’s dad in San Francisco. Also, the silver pocket squares were also made by Donny’s dad so it was really good to have a little piece of his parents there, even though they could not be there in person.

Donny’s shoes were awesome, as I think you’ll agree:

Mine were somewhat less colourful, but super comfortable – which is a definite advantage of dressing well as a man – you can look fabulous and still have working feet at the end of a wedding.

As the day got hotter and later we lost the jackets to reveal my favourite part of the ensemble:

Our waistcoats had this fantastic electric blue fabric for the back, which just looked sensational (if I say so myself). It wasn’t a conscious choice to find outfits that matched the colour scheme of the wedding so well, but the fact that the suits we liked also had this amazing colour as part of the ensemble – well, it did rather seal the deal.

The Big Day Itself

A Surprise Beginning

Our big day started with something of a bang. Donny had told me he had ordered a minicab to take us to the town hall, so when I opened and the door and found this outside the flat…

… suffice to say I was taken somewhat aback. I don’t think I swore though. I’ll have to check the video again.

I don’t know whether it’s a good thing that I have a husband who is so good at keeping secrets. I guess it’s OK as long as they are right kind of secrets.

Anyway, once I picked myself up off the floor we got inside the carriage and made the 15 minute journey down to the town hall. During the ride my entire reserves of self-consciousness burned away so by the time we arrived at the town hall and were greeted by all our friends (yet another surprise!) I was ready to go and throw myself into the glorious tumult that is a wedding day.

I don’t look terrified there at all. As I think you’ll agree.


Chris’ mini blog – Thursday

I received these wise words this morning from my pal Lorraine:

“Remember, you’re not throwing a party – this is your wedding (the only one you’ll have), so keep in mind that we’ll all have a great time anyway just being there to celebrate with you, and all you need to do is relax and enjoy the moment. Simple!”

That is definitely what I needed to hear. Tomorrow isn’t about making sure everyone has a nice time (that will almost certainly happen anyway) It’s about being present in the moment and not thinking about the next thing, and trusting the team will get it all done.

I’m really rather looking forward to it.

In other news, Jimmy has arrived and is just exploring the neighbourhood with Donny, and Debby should be knocking on my door any minute. Fabulous!


Family Practicalities

Chris’ mini blog – Wednesday

Today was our last day of wedding admin. We put together the ‘Magic Bag’ (a bag containing everything we will need on the day), did a bit of last minute shopping and also got the house ready for a party tomorrow evening where family and jet-lagged Americans will enjoy pizza and bubbly together in our garden. Then this evening we got together with our ushers to go through the planning for the day, and also have a lovely meal out together – which is the closest thing we’ll have to a stag night before the wedding.

Actually, I reckon the evening in the pub will serve well as our stag night. We will have a gang of friends together, in a pub, with a drag queen. What’s not to like? Why celebrate a ‘last night of freedom’ when it’s much more exciting to celebrate ‘a first night of partnership’.

As I write, Donny’s brother – Jimmy – is currently on a plane somewhere above Canada and he is heading our way. This wedding deal has just shifted gear from ‘planning and preparation’ to ‘oh my goodness this is actually happening’.Tomorrow morning we welcome Jimmy and also Debby (our friend from the US) straight off their planes and into our home and the whole wedding experience will officially begin. I hope I’ll have a chance to blog but if not – see you on the other side!